So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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