Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
