I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
