I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
