there was a trapeze. enough said
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
