Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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