Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
