he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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