He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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