Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
