i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
