i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
