and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
