fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
