You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Please don't give away my fajitas
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
