I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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