I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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