So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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