i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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