My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize