We're facebook friends in real life
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
