it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
