For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
