Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
