I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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