weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
