I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
