I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize