I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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