last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
