we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize