I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He shit in the fireplace
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