Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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