Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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