let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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