remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
