I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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