how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
