She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize