I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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