We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
