I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize