Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
