IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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