Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
