I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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