sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
wow bdsm is so cute
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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