Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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