Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have post one night stand depression
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
