i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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