I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
