we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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