Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize