covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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